I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
