You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
