Pappa wants mamma naked
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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