One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
