you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
