Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
