Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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