So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
