did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
