Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
