I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
