I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
