He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i believe in u and ur pee
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize