somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
