dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
