no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
