And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
