P.S. I can't hear my feet
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
