We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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