Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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