It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
