I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
