She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
