Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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