I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Pants are for mortals
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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