I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
