we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
