Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize