i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
