We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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