billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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