Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize