i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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