There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
