i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
soo... how was my night?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
