You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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