My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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