I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
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