Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
