My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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