we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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