I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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