I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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