he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Fuck me I smell like cheese
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
