Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
