I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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