I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
