I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
