Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
