As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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