By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she pinky promised me she was 18
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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