If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
