I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize