I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
