If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
