Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my sisters under your porch take her home
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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