it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
