she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
