what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
