I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
