The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize