we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
