hotel room ftw
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
