Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
